Archive for the ‘Rating – 0 Stars’ category

Home Alone (Columbus, 1990)

14/06/2012

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Its a nine (9) on Metacritic!!?

0 / *****

Hotel For Dogs (Thor Freudenthal, 2009)

20/06/2009

hotel-for-dogs

Let me not mince words here – this is a bad film.  Offensive on many fronts not the least of which the following thematic elements:  1.  Typical (ala Annie, hey!  I already had to explain this to my kids one other time and I don’t want to again) movie cruel animal control people, 2.  Awful foster parents, 3.  Awful foster kids that by nature pick locks, steal from their parents and engage in other criminal enterprise, and 4.  The new trend in these films – casting a barely developed, but quite attractive, young nymphet (Emma Roberts) to play the female protagonist and get all the Dads hot and bothered.   Then to create a little sexual tension layer in another 15 year old with larger breasts!  The film goes beyond the normal family-oriented animal film in showing the dogs in various stages of going to the toilet (and I heard few laughs when they did).  They even went so far as constructing ACTUAL toilets for the animals to use!  The technological feats with the animals are so over the top and stupid I had no clue what was going on.  The only thing in the film that kept me fleeing in horror from the theatre, other than the fact that my children were by my side, was the presence of Don Cheadle.   Mind you, just his presence.  And the bloated and drawn out ending is completely implausible.

Does Hollywood hate us!?  These filmmakers do.

no stars / *****